Fucking hard or hardly fucking am I right brother
not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny
governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to england to get more supplies
115 colonists: okay
governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of a naval war with spain or some shit
governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone gone
governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a native american tribe, carved into a post
croatoan tribe: has members and children with blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin
everyone: what could have happened to the colonists of roanoke
hi! op here. I’m fucking hyperventilating
that medieval peasant you’re trying to kill with hyper-pop is gonna make you clean and butcher a chicken and you’re gonna throw up.
Precious man (not in black!) sighted ❤ (x,x)
Neil Gaiman: Hi, I'm Neil Gaiman. I'm wearing the first red T-shirt I've worn since 1987. Because I'm a member of the WGA. I'm on strike. I care so much for the things that I've written but I'm out here right now not working and here until we get a good contract because I care about the future of the WGA, the future of young writers. I want a world in which no AI writes scripts or attempts to. I want a world in which young writers get to learn how to make television. And I want a world in which we are fairly compensated for the things that we put up on streaming.
Do y’all ever feel like a toddler trying to take care of itself
Like I just spent 30 mins eating random unsatisfying snacks until I finally figured out I was just thirsty
I use the exact same checklist on myself that I've used on my niblings since they were born, trying small versions of whatever I think I need to see which one makes my brain and body go "YES THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SHOUTING AT YOU FOR THE LAST HOUR".
Basically: Am I cold? (put on blanket) Warm? (take off socks) Hungry? (small snack) Thirsty? (small glass of water) Do I need the toilet? (go into bathroom) Do I need a shower? (same) Am I in pain? (prod self gently until ow) Itchy? (body lotion) Tired? (lay down on sofa) Is it time for meds? (check time) Is it time to move my body a bit? (get up and pace for a minute) Am I just clingy and want to be social for a bit? (text someone)
I start with what's more likely to be the case, and usually within four or five guesses I know what's wrong and therefore how to fix it. Even if I have to go through the whole list, that's loads easier for me than completely random guessing.
I've never met a cis person
Actually, statistically speaking you've actually met a couple cis people who you thought were just normal!
This guy raised an abandoned moose calf with his Horses, and believe it or not, he has trained it for lumber removal and other hauling tasks. Given the 2,000 pounds of robust muscle, and the splayed, grippy hooves, he claims it is the best work animal he has. He says the secret to keeping the moose around is a sweet salt lick, although, during the rut he disappears for a couple of weeks, but always comes home….
Impressive !! MINNESOTA CLYDESDALE
why are moose so terrifyingly large
Because they’re pretty much legit surviving Ice Age megafauna and almost everything was bigger back then
his moose leaves for a few weeks to Fuck
And comes back because he figures he has a pretty sweet deal. Oats, salt, probably some treats and scratches, for the price of some basic pulling and advanced not murdering fools?
Sometimes I think people give themselves too much credit for animal domestication. Sometimes the main character of the domestication story is some terrifying beast who reasons, “But salt though.”
This is wrong
Children can have a little existentialism, as a treat
looks like I triggered more sjws. Keep sending these asks they only fuel my logic.
Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail
Love that we’re still dragging the poor fuckers corpse around years later so no one ever forgets their shameful mistake lol






